Beauty in Imperfection

This innate obsession with trying to fix everything is killing my spirit day by day..

It's just this obsession about trying to make every aspect of my life perfect.. But in the midst of trying to fix things, to make them better so that I may be at peace, I have lost all the peace I had..

maybe there are always going to be those little nooks here and there.. it's about overlooking them and being happy anyway.

Reminds me of a quote out of the book I'm reading at present:

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy" - Anne Frank

Regret

Recently, someone asked me if I was given a chance to change or erase one thing from my life, what would be it?

I could think of a hundred different things from the top of my head.. but when I dug deeper, I realised that everything that took place was either necessary or unavoidable.

Regret feels like such a waste of time then..

Thoughts..

It makes me angry and sad at the same time when some people don't always understand the way I feel. I mean- how can they not see that they are hurting me by their words or actions? It's not something I need to tell them. And yet, somewhere deep down, my heart still feels a liking, an affection for them.

Because they don't understand what they do.

I get that people can be good individuals but may not always be good with you. But it's still baffling how they don't understand what the other person might feel when they do or say certain things.

Maybe it's because we all are so different from one another.

For the record, I have started keeping a personal diary again, and it helps much more than blogging. I started blogging to write for myself but slowly, as it gained more readers, as I met these readers and as word spread to my offline world, I began to be judged by whatever I wrote.

And writing for myself has never been the same again.

Sometimes, it does work here but other times, I find myself stopping to think whether the next line will mean something to someone and potentially hurt them.

I did think of an anonymous blog at first but that too is prone to following the same cycle.

Also, there's a lot of joy & a sense of release in using your hands to write. Typing does not replace it.

It's fun keeping a journal again but not as much as it was during my teenage years. Back then, it was more about detailing day-to-day events. Now, it's more about thoughts, feelings and life.

I'm finally growing up, eh?

Well, all this does not mean I am going to bid goodbye to this blog. I'll always keep posting here. Will continue to write here as and when I feel like - just like I always have.

And if I feel like sharing some of the lines from my journal, I'll copy them here for all of you to read.

Adios for now.. be good and be happy :)