Thursday, January 28, 2010

What Women Want

This has always been the most unresolved mysteries of all time, because it involves the supposedly "inexplicable" brain of a woman. So, I decided to do a bit of research. Of course, it helps when you're a woman yourself! :P

So, what do we really want when it comes to a man, a relationship, a long-term commitment? At the end of the day, all a woman wants is someone kind and considerate with the persona of a gentleman but that's not enough to get noticed! It takes a lot more than just that! 

When we go partying, to a club or just about anywhere, we like to see men who stand out. Be it the stand-up comedian performing on stage, the bartender juggling his cocktails, the guitarist strumming the chords of "Hotel California", we get easily attracted to men who are "different" from the rest.

For most of us, "confidence" is the key. If you've got it, you've got us. "Over-confidence" is a big turn-off !! You'd rather be shaky than be more than what you should be. A man who is sure of himself, surely knows how to take care of his lady and that speaks a lot in itself.

Romance is important, and there is more to romance than just candies and flowers. We love and appreciate it more when a guy does something for us. More than just materialistic gifts, we like it when you sing for us, write about us, or if you're an artist- paint us a portrait! It's not only flattering, but the love that goes along with so much of effort shows. We can easily tell when it's done from the heart. It need not be all perfect. We like it when you goof up whilst trying to be romantic! :D 

We love unpredictability and spontaneity as well. Almost all of us have seen and laughed at the Hero Honda commercial where the guy drives to his girlfriend's house to wish her "Goodnight" in the middle of the night! It may look like the guy's out of his mind and that in real life, he's sure to get slapped but that's not so. We like it when guys are spontaneous- taking us out on an unplanned road-trip to a place you really like is a HIT! :) However, this should be done only when you've met the girl a good number of times, else you'll end up freaking her out!

Intelligence is a turn ON as well. I'm not very sure about geeks and nerds, but witty intelligence is sure to attract! Funny one-liners at the right time and good humour show how clever you are and we totally fall for that! 

Looks aren't as important as presentability. It's enough if you can carry yourself well. (No offence to the new Mens' fairness cream product manufacturers! :D)

Violence is a big NO. Although we like guys who fight (defend) for us, we despise hooligans who unnecessarily call a fight on themselves to "impress". 

Possessing one or more of these qualities is enough to get women to notice you and fall for you. 

By the way, for all you F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fans (me included), Chandler's got ALMOST all of these traits !! He does lack confidence (he is insecure when it comes to marriage), but he's got romance (remember the candle-light theme when he proposes Monica for marriage?) and unpredictability (remember how he runs away from home on the day of his wedding? :D okay, that episode does not really account for his unpredictability in a way that we want to mention here, but there have been a lot of times when he's been totally unpredictable- sex on a hospital bed is one of those!) and wit (do I even need to state an example?). He totally rocks! :D

For a relationship, of course, trust, body chemistry and a few other factors would matter. 

And as I mentioned before, for a long-term commitment, a woman looks for someone who respects her and loves her just the same. Yes, someone who would hold the door out for her when she walks into a room; someone who would kiss her forehead and tell her she looks beautiful even after she's just up and looks sloshed. Though it sounds too commonplace, it's true! 

Lastly, be yourself. That's more important than anything else. Honesty (also to yourself) needs to be maintained through all phases of any relationship. It's a #WIN. :P

Before I end this, a link for all you ladies- 7 types of guys you should not date: (via @ideasmithy)
Happy reading! :)

P.S: Ladies, let me know if there's anything else that I've missed out on, or if there's anything specific that YOU look for!


ani_aset said...

nice post :) my first time here..hopped over from twitter got some really nice arguments there for each point :)

Anonymous said...

Great post!
All of them are true. But you know what, in the long term just one thing matters: that you love each other. And if that is there, everything falls into place :)

Jaspreet Aiden said...

I liked this line " we get easily attracted to men who are "different" from the rest".....................i guess the same goes for clothes.

And this one,
"For a relationship, of course, trust, body chemistry and a few other factors would matter"
Are u sure its JUST A FEW OTHER FACTORS????

And i agree with neha tht all the stuff mentioned only matters when u are cautiously looking for "THE ONE", when u do find tht SPECIAL SOMEONE all of tht usually doesnt matter, and if it still does then He/she are frankly not worth the effort, so y even bother........nice post.

Aarti Badamikar said...

Nice blog Anubha... and this is a Super post!
Loved this line: A man who is sure of himself, surely knows how to take care of his lady and that speaks a lot in itself.
Good to know you :)

amit said...

wah, informative! :)

jas said...

Maybe I'm too naive.. but i think u just proved that there is a ell lot of difference between what women want and what they say they want..

Razzer said...

Drat. No wonder I was losin' out on olla women like..till now. Damn. :-)

So NOW I know. Aree.. Bachnaa e' hasiiiinooo...lo main..... *wink.

Harsh said...

:| :| :| :| :|

Ritz said...

Love it...we like it when you sing for us, write about us, or if you're an artist- paint us a portrait!

Well i got to say Anu i felt like i am reading mirror of my thoughts.Very well written and so so true.But you know everything falls in place when you really fall in Love and you wont even remember these points.Just the fact that someone out there is loving you and living for is enought to forget this whole world.. ;)

JD said...

I think girls suffer from high fluctuation of thoughts syndrome and are used to contradict themselves on everything they do :)(no offece to any gurls out there)for eg. When we sing for them, they say: "don't be so cheezy yaar", when we don't they say: "you have changed, i feel" :D

The power to hyde wat they feel is supernatural i believe ! but this study will surely help all those guys who ar seekin for sum1..but u know what? I feel that all this decoration is good to impress a gurl for a short term..what matters in long term is - whats da intensity of your thoughts?? madly u want her?, what limits can u go beyond to make her happy and feel good?

Kisine kaha hai na: "Agar tum kisi cheez (not khanewala chhez yar:D)ko dil se chaho, to poori(n not tali hui pooria :P) kaynat use tumse milane mein lag jati hai" !!! ekdum perfect hai. lovely post !!


Anubha said...

Hey thanks! Welcome to my blog! :)

Thanks and yes, that's true, in the long term, love and trust are two important things that matter.

Aagaya na waapas argue karne :P
Hmm, you contradict yourself by saying, "Are you sure it's just a few other factors?" and then by saying Love is the only factor that matters! :P
Anyway, there is a lot that goes into a relationship and a long-term commitment, but as I have mentioned these pointers are for all the guys out there who want to know what girls get attracted to and what creates a lasting impression! :D
To take that ahead, of course, other things matter. Love, above all, rules. :-)

@Aarti Badamikar
Hey, thanks dear and welcome to my blog! :)
It was nice meeting you too, hope to see you in many more such projects to come! :)

Haahaa.. thank you ji :P

Hmm yes many may not admit it. Well, all women want is to love, be loved, and feel safe. These are just some things that they take notice of and get attracted to easily.

Haahaa.. okay, ladies beware!!! :P
Welcome to my blog! :)

Huh? Kya hogaya?

Thanks dear. And yes, as I said, a lot goes into a relationship and a long-term commitment. Love and trust are very important in the long run. These are just some things that make us want to know the person more! *Examples in person :P*

Hmmmm tune toh puraa post likh diya yaar.. it's true that girls fluctuate a lot. When someone loves you too much, it's suffocating and when someone does not love you at all, it's depressing. So everything needs to be done in the right amount.

And yes, it's true that some of this "decoration" is for a short term. However, creative forms of showing love (singing, dancing etc.) can be always retained later in the relationship. For a long-term relationship, many more things play a role.

Thanks for your words and it was nice meeting you in ahd! :)

JD said...

Didn't realized I wrote such a looooong comment untill I saw it now (lol)..I agree wid wat u mentiond. it pleasure meeting u 2 Anu..waitin for another 1 !! :)

Anonymous said...

Awesome post!
I agree on every point. But all of these points would be applicable only in the initial period (the liking process).
But when it come to a long-term commitment, nothing usually matters. It's only love and trust that'd matter then.
Like Reeti said - "Just the fact that someone out there is loving you and living for is enough to forget this whole world.. ;)" This is so so true!
Kiske saath conversation kiya tha iss topic pe, jo tune post bhi likh diya? :-P

swaps said...

THANKS for the tips... surely the tide will turn now :)

Anonymous said...

i think u r expecting just too much!!!! :)

Anubha said...

Hehehe.. hota hai :P

Thanks for your words dear. This post was inspired by that link I've given at the bottom of the post. Woh padhne ke baad socha likh du main bhi kuch! ;) :D

Heehee.. :D
Welcome to my blog!! :)

And I think I know who you are :P
I am not expecting anything. These are just some of the traits that women would get attracted to. I don't "expect" anything really! :)

Anonymous said...

Firstly - Kudos to u girl for picking a topic like this!! :)

I'd second to partywithneha and truly said!

And JD's comment 'what matters in long term is - whats da intensity of your thoughts?? madly u want her?, what limits can u go beyond to make her happy and feel good?' is inarguable!! :)

Lastly, one more point some girls might look for (i personally do ;) ) is 'the prankster/carefree tinge to on a guy!'. It is more like 'taming the shrew' from Shakespeare, just the genders turned! Believe me it is fun trying to get ur guy to agree to you when you know u prolly never will win it - but the fun tht goes into trying keeps the spark ON! :D

Readers out there (ladies esply) - wassay?? :)

Anubha said...

Very well said! I missed that point!!

Yes, we also get attracted to that category of men sometimes, only so that we can win over them and then try to manipulate them (secretly knowing that it's impossible!) :D I guess we're a strange breed, eh? ;)

Would have loved to know who you were!

And thanks :)

Anonymous said...

Hey that was a nice post!! :) I believe intelligence, funny, honesty is what I value the most :) I like your blog. Adding you to my blogroll!!!

Anubha said...

Thanks! :) Humbled! :) Welcome to my blog!!! :)