Good conversations always make good blog posts! :D The other day, Harish and I were talking about relationships and why people get into them. It was more on a marital level but I'll start with the basics.
So why do people get into a relationship?
Supriya Thanawala's "One can be fun" article in the Valentines Day edition of the HT Brunch also stated that one should get into a relationship solely for love and not for anything else. She says it's better to accept loneliness than get into a bad relationship. But trust me, 9 out of 10 relationships have different reasons of existence. The biggest of them all is fear and insecurity. Fear of ending up alone, and insecurity of oneself. And why does this fear exist? Because how much ever we deny it, most of us are afraid of being with ourselves. Ask yourself who you are when you look at yourself in the mirror today. We are not comfortable being with ourselves, it scares us and we need someone to lean on. We are insecure or unsure about our own decisions; WE DON'T LOVE OURSELF.
That's also one of the reasons why abusive relationships exist, and also why people don't separate after infidelity crops up in the relationship. I think this is also why most men involved in rape cases have their wives supporting them.
Another kind of relationships are rebound relationships which occur when you separate from someone and just need a companion. These don't last too long and one of the parties ends up getting hurt.
As far as marriages are concerned, most people rush into them as a result of their own insecurities and fear of loneliness again. And then there are those few far between that can't control their libidos and considering premarital sex is a taboo in Indian society, opt for a wedlock.
So what does one do? How does one overcome his/her insecurities? (That's one question I'm waiting to answer myself!)
“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.” - Anonymous
How does one love his/herself?
For one, you can start by getting rid of the notion that loneliness implies unhappiness. Start doing things you truly love, and if you don't know what they are, try random things and you'll eventually know what you love doing. It may be a hobby or a profession. Once you've found it, you've found something you can do all your life and never get bored. Spend more time with yourself: read a book, pamper yourself, go for a massage at one of the best spas in the city, make a play-list of your favourite songs and carry it with you, go for a walk, go trekking, click pictures, cook yourself a lavish meal, enrol yourself for a workshop that you find interesting. Enjoy your life while being true to your conscience. Once you begin, the list is endless.
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde
Of course, it's easier said than done but it's worth it in the long run. And then, once you've found your love, you'll really know it! :)
Never do anything that makes you unhappy.
Now..why does this post sound like I'm lecturing you? me is off :P
P.S: Thanks Harish for being there all throughout! You've been an amazing friend. :)
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