Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Caught in a whirlwind of emotions since the last few days...

Have you ever been afraid of moving on? I've been in a limbo since as long as I an remember.. Somehow, my mind keeps wanting to hold on to the "familiar" even if the "familiar" hurts. Moving on means letting go of the "familiar" so I can embrace the "new" but then there is this fear that comes in the way.

How does one ever take a leap of faith?

All of this took a back seat when I got a call the other day (Friday morning) from a close friend who informed me that Rehab passed away. It hit me in there..

Rehab and I weren't what you would call close friends. We had first met back in March 2009 at The Trident - Nariman Point for an event by Intuit and that's when I got introduced to her blog. I became a regular reader since mid 2010 and we kept meeting at Blog Camps, Bar Camps- exchanging smiles and ideas about blogging, books, BarCamp sessions and the like. Her blog is a glimpse of her positivity and love for life. And just like her face, it radiates a happy feeling. She wrote beautifully and I would always wait for her to post something new. It used to make my heart smile and fill me up with hope.

The last I had met her was when I was in Bombay for the last time - 17th June 2012. We were planning on organising a Blog Camp together. We had been exchanging emails regarding the same and when she didn't get back, I sent her another email at precisely the time she breathed her last. (Thursday, 5th July, 11PM IST).

She was a beautiful soul - one of the kindest I had come across. She was calm, kind and very helpful. and it's saddening that she had to depart so early.

This is the first time I have lost someone I knew fairly well (other than my grandfather, but in his case, we had accepted that it would happen one day). And the suddenness of it all is what hurts more. I hope her soul is at peace just like it was always, and how it was passed on to those who were touched by it.

Dealing with just so much all at once right now..I'm alternating between feelings of hope and despair every minute of the day. Waiting for something that will soothe my heart - something that will feel like home.


Aadii said...

The loss is immense. I never met her but like so many of us, was a regular reader(and a fan) of her blog. She also commented upon a few of my blog entries. I still keep going back to her blog every now and then 'expecting' to see a new post, and re-reading the old ones. May god give strength to his parents, and bless her wherever she is.

Anubha said...

I too keep visiting her blog. In fact, I do it on a daily basis. Her posts bring so much peace!