Sunday, October 11, 2009

Building a career - Not my cup of tea!

I was all set to build a career soon after I graduated.

Four months back, I wanted to get into a company because I thought I would be comfortable there and it suited my interests at that time. Thanks to the recession, I took up another job not getting a call from this one. I was scared, I didn't think I'd get adjusted to the new environment and the new people there. I stepped out of my comfort zone, and soon started enjoying the new environment and the people. It made me more confident and happier. There was so much freedom there that I started exploring my other interests. Just when I got attached to the people and the environment there, I got a call from this company I wanted to get into four months back. And since I had waited for so long, I took up the offer.

I didn't realise that it meant getting back to my old self, to the old environment again. I liked my new self better. Adjusting to the old environment scares me, it makes me feel I'll get back to being my old self again, the one I am not very fond of. So each time I try to talk to a person, I back out, I hold myself back subconsciously. I feel claustrophobic sitting on my desk all day and trying hard to focus. I haven't found a single person who would come out just for a walk with me, or have a cup of tea. I am rethinking my decision time and again. People tell me I should learn to live with the consequences of my decisions, and learn to live with different kinds of people and different environments. I don't think I am flexible enough, since I am having a hard time doing that. I don't know if I am working here because I want to, or because I am good at the work. It's not giving me enough time for myself, to do the things I love doing. I am so confused! I wish I wasn't like this all the time. I want to be sure of myself.

One thing that I have learnt out of this- "Always obey your parents, they know what's best for you." I wish I had listened to them all this time... Things wouldn't have been so difficult then.

28 comments:

Sakhi said...

All will be fine... dont worry sweetie! :) Cheer up!

sharmasanjana said...

Its gonna be fine.. Seriously. You just started here... You'll need some time. Its normal.

Don't give up just yet! That's all I say. :)

Aditi said...

Everything's gonna be fine dear! Give it sometime and cheer up. :)

Ritz said...

Cheer Up darling...It takes time to get accustomed to new environment.U have a great attitude and as always you will make good frnds over there too.Once you make Frnds work will be fun... Good Luck
By d way i didn knew dat u already joined... :P

Harsh said...

change is an essential part of life .... everything will fit into place in some time :-)

Viral Gandhi said...

Hey, relax... U rarely like taste of new tea... but wen u keep drinkin it 4 few days, u start enjoyin it !!
Same happenz wid lyf too !
all d best !

Abhang said...

You have written the very fact/basis of why people sustain in an organization.
When somebody says i am so-so yrs experience (in a related field), it means that person has adjusted for that many years (he/she gone thru that torture for that many years ..:( ), experience is adjustment and adjusting again gives you the experience. Your skills become secondary in front of these things.

My humble suggestion is that you must continue with your present organization, and don't leave that for atleast a year.

If you are feeling low in life, then think of the thousands of IT people travel from navi mumbai to andheri everyday for work ...

You don't even have to think about these things, just concentrate on work while at work.. once you climb the ladder and become a project leader, you even bother to think about these things... i bet..

Anubha said...

@Sakhi
I sincerely hope so!!

@sharmasanjana
Hmm, I'm still hung up on my previous job.. hence I feel strangled.

@Aditi
Hopefully :(

@Ritz
Well yes but I'm still missing my old workplace a LOT.
And yeah, we seem to have lost in touch.. Call me!!!
P.S. Why isn't your name hyperlinked?

@Harsh
I hope!

@Viral Gandhi
Tea.. You reminded me of tea when I'm trying to cut down on it! How dare you! :P Well, thanks! :)

@Abhang
Yeah I need to change my mindset to start adjusting here. For that, I need to have no other options and right now, I have too many. So every second, I think of switching! I should try and live in the present somehow.. Life is difficult!

Reema said...

Dont worry!! try to make it work ..if it doesnt leave it..nothing in world is worth stress and unhappiness :)

Anubha said...

@Reema
Yes trying my best to make it work! Thanks! :)

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