What Women Want

I had written this long back: http://anubha-bhat.blogspot.com/2010/01/what-women-want.html I am reposting this for this week's Blogadda & Pringoo contest. I wanted to attach a Twitter t-shirt as a gift item that I'd like for myself if I win (I hope I do! :P), but the page just wouldn't open :( Anyway, so here goes:

So what do women want?

This has always been the most unresolved mysteries of all time, because it involves the supposedly "inexplicable" brain of a woman. So, I decided to do a bit of research. Of course, it helps when you're a woman yourself! :P


So, what do we really want when it comes to a man, a relationship, a long-term commitment? At the end of the day, all a woman wants is someone kind and considerate with the persona of a gentleman but that's not enough to get noticed! It takes a lot more than just that! 

When we go partying, to a club or just about anywhere, we like to see men who stand out. Be it the stand-up comedian performing on stage, the bartender juggling his cocktails, the guitarist strumming the chords of "Hotel California", we get easily attracted to men who are "different" from the rest.

For most of us, "confidence" is the key. If you've got it, you've got us. "Over-confidence" is a big turn-off !! You'd rather be shaky than be more than what you should be. A man who is sure of himself, surely knows how to take care of his lady and that speaks a lot in itself.

Romance is important, and there is more to romance than just candies and flowers. We love and appreciate it more when a guy does something for us. More than just materialistic gifts, we like it when you sing for us, write about us, or if you're an artist- paint us a portrait! It's not only flattering, but the love that goes along with so much of effort shows. We can easily tell when it's done from the heart. It need not be all perfect. We like it when you goof up whilst trying to be romantic! :D 


We love unpredictability and spontaneity as well. Almost all of us have seen and laughed at the Hero Honda commercial where the guy drives to his girlfriend's house to wish her "Goodnight" in the middle of the night! It may look like the guy's out of his mind and that in real life, he's sure to get slapped but that's not so. We like it when guys are spontaneous- taking us out on an unplanned road-trip to a place you really like is a HIT! :) However, this should be done only when you've met the girl a good number of times, else you'll end up freaking her out!


Intelligence is a turn ON as well. I'm not very sure about geeks and nerds, but witty intelligence is sure to attract! Funny one-liners at the right time and good humour show how clever you are and we totally fall for that! 


Looks aren't as important as presentability. It's enough if you can carry yourself well. (No offence to the new Mens' fairness cream product manufacturers! :D)


Violence is a big NO. Although we like guys who fight (defend) for us, we despise hooligans who unnecessarily call a fight on themselves to "impress". 


Possessing one or more of these qualities is enough to get women to notice you and fall for you. 


By the way, for all you F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fans (me included), Chandler's got ALMOST all of these traits !! He does lack confidence (he is insecure when it comes to marriage), but he's got romance (remember the candle-light theme when he proposes Monica for marriage?) and unpredictability (remember how he runs away from home on the day of his wedding? :D okay, that episode does not really account for his unpredictability in a way that we want to mention here, but there have been a lot of times when he's been totally unpredictable- sex on a hospital bed is one of those!) and wit (do I even need to state an example?). He totally rocks! :D


For a relationship, of course, trust, body chemistry and a few other factors would matter. 


And as I mentioned before, for a long-term commitment, a woman looks for someone who respects her and loves her just the same. Yes, someone who would hold the door out for her when she walks into a room; someone who would kiss her forehead and tell her she looks beautiful even after she's just up and looks sloshed. Though it sounds too commonplace, it's true! 


Lastly, be yourself. That's more important than anything else. Honesty (also to yourself) needs to be maintained through all phases of any relationship. It's a #WIN. :P

Before I end this, a link for all you ladies- 7 types of guys you should not date: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-dating-donts-the-do-not-date-list/ (via @ideasmithy)
Happy reading! :)

Lost

I have lost how to love,
I have lost how to give,
I lost a lot more,
When I learnt how to live.

I feel like escaping,
from this world full of wants.
I feel like being alone for a bit,
and let these demons haunt.

I sometimes don't like what I've turned into,
and keep wishing that I could flee,
to a time back when I cared & gave,
and loved hopelessly...

I don't know why I wrote this tonight but this is what I've been feeling since quite some time now..

Happy Father's Day!

Okay.. so I never ever thought I'd be writing this and I highly doubt I'd ever have done so if it weren't for Blogadda so I'd like to thank Blogadda first for giving me a chance to!

I am out of words though when it comes to writing something for dad- our bond is different. I don't know what name to give to it.

Honestly, I have always felt I've never been a good daughter to him- always going against his wishes but that was never to hurt him; I just liked doing things my way. It never occurred to me that I might be hurting him by doing so, and even if it did, I was too stubborn. Dad also wanted me to learn classical music, which I did, but half way through my course, I quit because I flunked in one of those music exams. I had never tasted failure before and trust me, for an eight year old, it's too much to take. He wanted me to become a news reporter, and I ended up taking science in college (for reasons I'm not sure of yet!). We have a lot of differences too and some may never go away.

There have been a lot of good times that I'll always cherish though. I love discussing novels, or the English language with him. I remember times when we sat down together working on crosswords, and all the times he helped me with my essays and speeches. I love having conversations with him on topics such as life and the universe. He has always been an active participant in all of these discussions and I truly admire his intelligence! He is a calm person that way and loves old songs & movies. When I think of him, I imagine a song on his lips and sincerity in the work that he's doing. He isn't very expressive though, and that's the reason I can't figure out what he feels for me.

I hope and I'd like to find out some time.

On this day, I want to thank him for all those times and wish him all the happiness that he deserves. :)

Happy Father's Day Papa! :)

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Breathless in Bombay! :D

Hola! I always talk about being very passionate about the city I live in (Bombay), and I realised how much I still love it when I saw it from a tourist's view earlier this month. I had a couple of friends come over from Ahmedabad- JD and Tony and I had to show them around the city. They were here for a good 3 days and I managed to take them pretty much everywhere! So here's an account of the short trip that made me fall in love with the city all over again! :D

They arrived at Bombay Central on Friday, the 4th of June, and Aditi and I had gone to receive them. It was lunch time and they were obviously very hungry so our first stop was the famous Sardar Pav Bhaaji at Tardeo. I had always heard of the place but had never gone there to see what the hype was all about, and trust me, this place is actually under hyped considering the yummy bhaaji they make and the amount of butter they put into it!

Next, we headed to Dadar (where Reeti joined us) to search for a hotel around the station. It's funny how the hotel owners eye at you when you ask them for a room though- even if you tell them it's just for the guys! So once we had been rolled eyes at at a couple of hotels, we decided to let them do the talking  themselves and waited outside. Anyway, so after getting a reasonable deal at Summerland Guest House in Dadar, we left them to freshen up and came home for a cup of tea ourselves.

Post tea-time, Aditi left to go home and we planned to go to the Gateway of India. We took the train and when VT station arrived, Tony was shocked looking at the people who jumped into the train when it was still in motion. At one point, he thought the 26/11 firing was happening again! :D We told them not to worry and alighted safely. We went to the Gateway & they got to see what they wanted to ever since the 26/11 firings- the Taj Palace. They were in total awe of it as it stood there looking as royal as ever! :)

Taj Palace

After a quick photo session, we took a ferry ride at the Gateway. Stood right in front, enjoying the breeze and the salty taste in our mouths. Reeti gave them a brief history of the Taj hotel on the boat. Apparently, the architect of the Taj committed suicide when the hotel was finished, on discovering that the main entrance that was supposed to face the sea, actually faced a small lane at the back. She gave them a few more facts about the Gateway, and the boats inside them. She can make a really nice guide! An entertaining one at that! :D After the refreshing ride, we waited at the Gateway a little more and went on to take a walk down Causeway to see the antiques, accessories, shawls, and clothes on sale. They sell all ethnic stuff- their main target being the foreigners who hang out there; these firangis usually have a fetish for Indian artefacts. We then went to Baghdadi for some special chaai.

Gateway of India

Reeti had to go home from there and I took them to Nariman Point. This place they liked the best! They said they'd come back there again that night, and they did end up going there on all the three days of their stay here! We walked down to Marine Drive and then Churni Road Chowpatty. We had some chaat, played X and O in the sand, wet ourselves in the water and sat on the giant wheel! :D It was getting late, and I had to rush back home so I left them to Cafe Mondegar (Mondys) at Colaba and came back home.

Carter Road, Bandra.

The next day, after a movie (Prince of Persia) at iMax, I took them to Bandra. Neil joined us this time and on our way, in the train, told them of the other side of Bombay- Girgaum, where we can find a different culture on each street, and the slums in Dharavi ! At Bandra, we enjoyed the sunset at Carters, had some yummy donuts at Mad-Over-Donuts, took a walk on Bandstand and clicked a lot of pictures of the grafitti inside the tunnels at Reclamation:

It amazes me to think how people could've painted so high- and so beautifully!

Sea-link

We then took the Bandra-Worli sea link. I returned home and they made their way to Nariman Point. :)

I was busy at the Sapling project during the first half of their last day (Sunday) here, which by the way was a HUGE success and I'm going to all the venues next time on! Here's an account of the Sapling project by Satish: 

http://www.bombaylives.com/index.php/the-sapling-project-3-update.html

We then watched Rajneeti at Cinemax. I found it to be crappy. I spent the first half of the movie figuring out their family tree and the next half was spent in pointing and laughing at their ridiculous dialogues! The movie's full of multiple murders and pregnancies, and the story line's flicked from the Mahabharata. I ended up learning a lot of new hindi words though. :D

The evening was spent in shopping at Phoenix and Dadar, and as usual, after everything was done with, we went to Nariman Point. :)

They left that night to go to Ahmedabad in a Volvo from Dadar, and I came back home.

Mondy's

So, it was really nice seeing Bombay through their eyes. I can never get enough of this city. Though I do need a vacation out of the city once in a while, I can never think of leaving the place forever- love it too much to let it go! :)

The Sapling Project- Be there! :)

The Sapling project is back, for the third time now and boy, am I excited! This is going to be one super weekend again. 


This project was started a few months back by Ranjeet Walunj and Satish Vijaykumar, and has grown to have over 500 volunteers now. 


It's one genuine social project that I've come across so far and I totally support the cause! It's wonderful to see so many passionate people coming together for a common cause, and I love it because it is so genuine unlike a lot of other NGOs I know (not generalising!) :) 


So, anyway, everyone's invited to plant/distribute a sapling free of cost on the 6th of June, 2010. The venues, timings and the people concerned follow. So be there, plant a sapling and contribute towards making the environment greener! :)


Bangalore:
Venue: Lalbagh, Glass house.
Time: 10:30 AM
Contact: Joel Fernandes - 9008905774

Chennai:
Venue: Isha Project Green Hands, No. 5 Moolachathiram, Perumal Kovil St, MMC Post, Chennai 51
Time: 10:00 AM 
Contact: Rajasekar - 9840727371, Magesh - 9940305209

Delhi :
Venue: Rose Garden, (Inside Lodhi Gardens), Delhi 
Time: 8:00 AM 
Contact: Garima Agarwal - 9810807082

Mumbai:
9 AM - Opp Barista, Shivaji Park 
11.00 am - Vile Parle (e), Opp Parleshwar Temple 
12.00 pm - Vile Parle (w) HDFC Bank, SV Rd. 
1.30 pm - Near Shoppers Stop, Andheri (w) 
3.00 pm - Inorbit Mall, Malad (w) 
5.00 pm - Near IC church , IC Colony, Borivali(w) 
Contact : Ranjeet - 9322131415 , Satish - 9833443545 

South Bombay:
9.30 AM - Gateway of India 
10.30 AM - Eros Theatre 
Contact: Priyanka Dalal - 9004350022 

Navi Mumbai:
- Nerul (Bangalore) - Tentatively Parsik hills 
- Vashi - Tentatively Sector 10
- Panvel - Tentative (Partha is co-ordinating)
Contact : Shailaja - 9819076469, HarishK - 9833959899 

Pune:
7:30 AM - Kalyani Nagar ( Jogger's Park) 
8:45 AM - University campus/ University Circle
9:30 AM - F.C Road 
10:30 AM - Law college Road
Contact: Libu - 9881460654, Pradaxina - 9881093149 

Latur
Date : 5th June 
Venue: Old MIDC Area, 
Time : 10.30 am 
Dinesh - 9890774748 

Oh, and you could also make a few donations if you wish to! The amount sponsored by you would be used to buy more saplings :) Simply handover the cash/cheque to Ranjeet at the venue, and it'll be done!


Hoping to see y'all there on the 6th then!


Take care :)

http://thesaplingproject.com
http://www.twitter.com/saplingproject

Weekend Highs!

Yayyy I am back from hibernation! Firstly, I'm sorry about being away for so long, I missed my blog like crazy but that little comment on my earlier post did make me feel good about being missed :D I've been super busy for the last couple of weeks and have had no time for myself. And after my weekend plans got ruined twice consecutively, I was all the more upset.


This weekend was great though, and I am still suffering from hangovers of it. For one thing, I saw my first ever 3D movie (Shrek) in the iMAX Dome. There were four of us- Neil, Mahesh, Aditi and I. Neil kept cribbing about us being late all the way only to find out the movie hadn't started yet. When God made him, he defined punctuality. :P Somehow he always shows up on time. The movie was good. It didn't have the Dome effect though, but was fun nevertheless! I haven't seen any of the parts of Shrek (such a loser, ain't I?) and still ended up liking it. 

This is the part where Shrek goes through a mid-life crisis, being too busy with his wife- the lovely Fiona and his kids. He does not find time for himself and that upsets him a great deal. He goes on to sign a contract with Rumpelstiltskin who allows him to live any day he wants to out of his life, and in return, Rumpelstiltskin would take out a day of his choice from Shrek's life. Little does Shrek know that the day Rumpelstiltskin is going to take out is the day that he was born, meaning that Shrek would stop existing once his day (the one that he wants to relive) is up. The other half of the movie is all about how Shrek puts an end to that curse, and how at the end, he realises how lucky he is to be married to Fiona with three little kids. All in all, a light, sweet movie that puts you in a super mood!

As the movie got over, and the credits started showing, the theatre was all empty except for the four of us (and the security person of course). And the next thing we know, we started dancing the waltz! :D A short photo session followed, with a Salsa session on Bollywood music! :D


Soon, it was time to head to the Wall Project, and the iMAX guys had stopped playing music afraid we'd never stop, so we left for Mahim.


After an hour of shopping for paints, brushes and the like, we caught up with the others- Neeraj, Shrushti and Dinesh, and were good to go! Alisha joined us there. We also met up with Ranjeet there who had booked a wall for himself but didn't know what to paint on it. :D We joined him and together, created THIS:

while Neeraj created his "Peace" painting:

It was lovely seeing so many different people all busy working on their masterpieces! :) 

And soon, in the middle of all of that, the superheroes arrived:

We met with IdeaSmith, Sanjeev, Sameer, and lots of other people there. After we finished with our painting, we took a walk to see all the other ones and were amazed. The number of people who came was surprisingly low this time around though!


Tea + Parle G followed at a local tapri and we headed to the beach at Shivaji Park! After a lot of clicks and some "chana chaat" there, we finally came back home and slept a good night's sleep! :)

It was the most satisfying day I ever had, and I didn't want it to end. Anyway, many more such days to come and I'll always make sure to keep you all updated- you don't have a choice there! :P.


"Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort" - Roosevelt

Mom!

I shifted sides and kept ruffling the sheets. I was sweating and panting for reasons I did not know of. I kept closing my eyes tight and tried counting sheep; I still don't know why we're asked to count sheep to fall asleep when all you can see when you close your eyes real tight are stars and small circles. My head started to feel heavy. I didn't know what was going on. I had been having small anxiety attacks for a very long time now, and I was afraid they'd never stop. And then an arm patted me, and within five minutes, I was sleeping like a baby. The touch of an arm could do what counting sheep.. err stars, reading a really boring book (my OOAD textbook) and calling a friend could not. That arm was my mother's.

I've always wanted to write this since a very long time and this BlogAdda and PringOO contest(http://blog.blogadda.com/2010/05/05/mothers-day-tribute-to-your-mom-contest) has finally given me a chance to!

Very often (or atleast for me), it's really awkward to tell your own people how much you love them. Ironically, it's easier to tell friends you love them than the people you grew up with, those who raised you, loved you and put up with all your little tantrums!

I had always been more close - rather, more open with my friends than family. I just can't express my love to them even though I want to. But the only person who I could really count on 24/7 when I had a nervous breakdown almost a couple of years back was my mother. Even though talking to friends helped a lot, and I'm so thankful they understood me, my mother's love was enough to get me through the day, do my daily chores, put me to sleep. I needed a lot of love then, and I needed to feel safe somehow. Nothing or no one could give me that love and sense of security except for her. That's when I agreed to the saying that a mother's love is the only love that's unconditional, for she doesn't expect, she just knows to give.

I used to feel guilty at times for not giving her the love and attention she deserved for so long. And honestly, she used to get on my nerves when she'd say something to me in front of other people, or say something weird in front of my friends. I'd get angry and say something absolutely meaningless just so that she'd stop talking or go away. I started feeling bad for the way I thought and behaved; the guilt was too much to take. But all of that just went away when we were together. Her touch was enough to let me know she understood and loved me nevertheless.

In my late teens, when I had been hiding a lot of stuff from her (which I usually don't anymore) and she found out, she didn't slap me or shout at me like anyone who trusted you with all their heart would. All she said was I would get into trouble if I continue with whatever I've been doing and that though she understands, she does not approve of it. What I did about it later was my call. I got my answers soon, and sure enough, she was right about whatever she had said.

I'm glad that she gave me the freedom to make my own mistakes and to correct them. I'm glad that she never punished me, though the shame that I felt on her understanding the situation and not reacting as I had expected her to, was punishment enough to drill some sense into me.

Sometimes, I doubt whether I really love my mom as much as she does. I mean, whether I'd really do as much as she has done for me. I'm pretty selfish that way. I still argue and fight with her sometimes but I don't really want her to think I don't love her. She tends to think that way when we get into a fight and it hurts me very much. I'm sorry for all those times when I made you think/feel I don't want you- but it's not true. I don't know why I'm in tears as I'm writing this.

I better end this here. I love you mummy, and more than that, I need you with me, though you may never really believe that. Happy Mothers' Day! 

I guess this is it then. Thanks Blogadda and PringOO! I believe I have already won- if not this contest, then surely her heart today- with this post.

P.S: As part of the contest, if I win, I'd love to gift her an apron/mug with the PringOO design that's on the left sidebar on my blog! :)

100th!

My blog has finally made it to it's 100th post today!! :) And after a lot of thought, tweets and discussion over how special I'm going to make this post, I decided to just go ahead the traditional way with taking you through my blogging journey and "how it all began". :D


I started blogging back in 2007, just when I stopped writing my personal journal (please don't go over my earlier posts now- they are way too kiddish and embarrass me sometimes but i choose not to delete them- they remind me of what I was like earlier! :P). I wasn't all that regular then and hadn't discovered too many bloggers too. In 2008, though, when I started getting a fair number of hits on my blog and stumbled upon so many other bloggers, I was amazed. My very first blog friends were RJ, Sakhi, Scorpria, Reema and Nikhil. I had a ball interacting with these new blog friends of mine on comment boxes. We tagged each other, awarded each other, had each other on our blog rolls. It was a nice new world we had created and I loved dwelling in it. Soon, these conversations would flow over to Gtalk; I still remember having a conference chat with RJ and Sakhi with both of them pulling my legs to no limit. Those were the days!


As time went by, people got busy; some quit their blogs and some went on long breaks. I started missing our little conversations but neither they nor I could help it. I do wish I could go back to that time again sometimes when I go over my blog roll.


A lot of my non-blogger friends ask me why I blog and I don't really have a perfect answer to that. A few of them are under the impression that people who blog don't have enough friends and that's SO not true! I think it maybe out of the need of sharing your thoughts across to people. With a personal diary, you can't possibly reach out to anyone. Blogging has created a whole new way of communication! When you blog, you completely open yourselves to people. It makes you feel good about yourself too, in a way, and you realise there are so many others out there just like you. It's sort-of like a platform to share ideas, to vent out your thoughts and your creative self.

I've had my share of bad online experiences- like there was this one time when a guy added me on hi5 (I was sixteen then; hi5 is as dead as orkut now!), we moved over to yahoo chat later, and the first time we chat, he tells me he's sitting in a cab right below my house! Turned out, he knew me all along somehow but had decided not to tell me lest I'd keep away (which I did, later! I didn't like the idea of him coming all the way to my house though he knew me, or whatever!). Another instance was of someone who had threatened to get cops to my place by tracking down my IP and what not, just because a person in our mutual friend list abused him for some reason!


Unlike social networking sites though, blogging is not something you can fake. And like Scorpria puts it in her post, it's so much more easier to trust blog friends than people on social networking sites. A blog is a reflection of a person's thoughts, and who can possibly fake that all the time? It's all about following your instincts. And trust me, I'd have missed out on a lot of wonderful people had I not taken a few risks there! :)


Sakhi and I bonded so well that we went on to exchange our phone numbers, postal addresses, landed at each others' places (we live in two different states) and met each others' families too! The thought that she could be fake never occurred to me even once for some reason. You always KNOW whom to trust somehow. 

Now, there are blog portals that help you discover some great blogs; blog camps that let you add faces to them! :)

Poonam, another awesome blogger, started a blogging contest a couple of years back called the Avant Garde Bloggies Awards. It turned out to be really big and helped discover some of the BEST blogs around!


It's feels great to be a part of something so wonderful! Cheers to all the bloggers out there! Keep posting! And I also hope you keep visiting, reading, and commenting :P


Ciao! :)

Bombay comes to a standstill...

11/07/2006: Seven bomb blasts at seven railway stations in the city.

12/07/2006: Bombay back on track.

26/11/2008: Terror attack in South Bombay.

27/11/2008: Bombay back on it's feet.

03/05/2009: The railway motormen go on strike.

4/05/2009: Lakhs stay at home; companies, dabbawallahs and train-sellers suffer losses; Kasab's sentence gets delayed; buses go packed; cabbies make money; roadways get jammed; college exams are to be postponed.

...The city that never sleeps almost caught a wink.

Local trains = The Bombay Life-Line!

Exam Hall Confessions.

It's that time of the year again and unlike last time, the tension's building up, which is good- it's making me study if nothing else!

I'm really tensed this time around though, and I've stopped indulging in unfair  practices long since I had made a fool of myself a couple of times! :D

This one time, in my first year of degree college or so, I had an "invisible" pen. The pen was visible but what you wrote with it wasn't. You could write with it on a blank piece of paper and all that you've written would be visible only once you flash some light on it by switching on a button that was right on the lid of the pen. After mugging up some formulae, I still wasn't confident of remembering all of those and wrote them on a blank paper with that magical pen "just in case". I folded it and kept it in my pencil box. The next day, I carried the paper with me in the examination hall and I was prepared to tell whoever asked that it was for rough work!! Right after I got my question paper, I opened that folded sheet of paper and switched on the little button on my magical pen. And the light just wouldn't come on!! The battery had run out! I felt so silly I didn't know whether to laugh or to panic :D Thankfully, I could recall all those formulae when I needed to and could do without that sheet of paper!

There was another instance where we had all decided that whoever gets the answers to all the objectives would text them to everyone else. Five minutes into the exam, all of our cell phones vibrated and we looked at each other in bewilderment wondering how someone got them all so fast. It was only when we read the message that we realised it was from Vodafone! :D I laughed and continued attempting everything else. At the end of it, I couldn't get two of the objectives. I had my friend sitting just in the next row in the same line as me such that we were adjacent to each other but were at two arms distance. I thought of asking her but didn't know how to. Finally, something struck me- I wrote those two question numbers on an eraser with a pencil and decided to pass it on to her.  I asked the supervisor if I could give it to her (Yes! Pretending to be TOO honest and all that! :D) and she allowed me to. That friend of mine took it and kept it on her desk, too busy to realise that she hadn't asked for it and that it meant she had to figure out why I passed it on. I smiled at myself, amused, and that's when she realised what she had done and burst out laughing having made a fool of me without realising it! I couldn't help but join her and the supervisor caught us laughing and asked us to share the joke. We apologised saying it was nothing and continued to write silently. She didn't know the answers to those questions as well, so in the end, we just left them, submitted our answer sheets and left the hall laughing like crazy!

So, I've never really managed to "copy"! :D Luck is never in my favour when I try  something like that so I left those practices long back and I got through all of those exams anyway.

Trying to study this time again and hope to pass without having to attempt any of those stunts.. wish me luck! :)