Sunday, August 17, 2008

Embarrassing Escapades

The other day I was hangin out in McDonalds with a friend, and I called up another friend of mine who was also supposed to join us, to find out how long he'll take.. I dialled his number, and was waiting for it to ring.. and after about a minute, I looked at the cellphone..the line had got
disconnected by itself, and all i could see was the wallpaper ... I was wondering what would hav
happened if I were to get a call in dat time.. I'd attract so many stares from people around who
would think I was showin off ..!! :D

There are many such incidents that have occured over the past few weeks..

Like on the day of the school re-union, my friend and I were speedin up to school.. and just then,
a cab stopped right in front of us, and this girl called me by my name and asked me if I wanted a
lift , as she was going for the re-union too..!! I couldn't recollect her name or anything about her..
all I knew was I was in a hurry and a lift would surely hav helped !! The whole cab journey, I had my fingers crossed hoping she wouldn't make conversation ! :D

The worst of the lot was when I was trying to imitate my favourite Chandler laugh when he's
upto some prank ... was looking into the mirror trying to get it right.. when my neighbour who had recently moved in.. walked in and burst out laughing... she was lookin at me since the past 5
minutes from another mirror that reflects the image .. I couldnt do much but laugh with her.. !! :D

All of us have been into such situations one time or the other ... and all we can do is blush with embarrassment or laugh at ourselves and get away with it ..!! I tag everyone to share their such stories as comments/posts .. :)

Friday, August 8, 2008

Confusions of a Dangerous Mind

It was 7.15 a.m. and I was running up the staircase, struggling to make it for the 7 a.m. Networking lecture...

Me (*panting*): Ma'am , may I come in please?
Sushmitha Ma'am: No
Me : Will you allow me in for the next lecture?
Susmitha Ma'am: No

And I went back .. crying.... terrribly... Now, Sushmitha Ma'am is very particular about punctuality, and it's usual for her to say NO to people who are even a minute late. I was wondering what is it that made me sob so bad.. for 30 mins after she said NO .. !!

Since the last 3 weeks, I'm unable to explain things that I do, the way I think... and
its scaring me all the more. People tell me I have changed, in a way that I didn't realise on my own.. They say I don't take anyone close now, I keep all of my friends at some distance, and treat them equally.. And nothing affects me so much.. And yes, they were true about that.. I don't know why ... Maybe its cuz I've been hurt so much in the past that I've decided I wont let things affect me the way they used to, and avoid getting hurt.. But it didnt work the way I wanted it to... My behaviour is affecting people around me, and its hurting them , which is inturn making me feel bad about myself..

I don't feel the urge to call my dear ones and meet them every time I get a tea break or a free lecture.. I don't feel the urge to talk to loved ones in my vella time.. I just go with the flow. I talk to people around me, listen to music when I'm alone, sleep or surf the net at home, but don't take any extra efforts to talk to people, meet them... Its not that I don't care, its just that I don't feel the same anymore.. I don't know if its a problem.. Some say its for the best, cuz I was a person who wouldn't stay a second without someone special around me , I hardly ever gave time to myself... I would do all I could for people so it also led to people taking advantage of this.. Maybe it is for the good, but I don't want to hurt anyone .. Especially my close ones.. :(

I feel scared of myself thinking I'm turning into a bad person.. I keep hoping its just a passing
And maybe there was so much within me that the little thing that happened in class (getting kicked out for coming late) was like pulling the trigger finally .. I did feel better after venting it all out.. but that was just temporary..

I can't explain that fear within me .. I keep feeling guilty .. like I'm not being true to people.. its the worst feeling one can ever have..

Feeling better having written this down..
I couldn't have put this into words any better than this..
*Please don't feel offended cuz of my behaviour in case it turns bad.. I apologise to all those I may have hurt in the past few weeks.. it was purely unintentional..*