Friday, June 15, 2012

Whole or nothing

Truth or lies,
Virtue or vice,
Love or hate,
Good or evil,
Right or wrong,
Pure or impure,
Moral or immoral ...?


Whole or.. NOTHING.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

pleaser's price

Spoke to Reeti after a long long time yesterday and during our talks, she told me that my basic problem lies in always trying to mend things- to fix them, to put an end to them nicely, to maintain friendly relations with people, to please everyone, to be nice..

maybe i do this because of a fear of losing people.. losing a place in their heart, perhaps.

I don't like it when things end or when they don't end on a good note.. but the more i try to fix things or try for them to be nice, the more i screw it all up.

sometimes i even bend over too much in order to keep things in their place.. trying to constantly control things around me so that they may be good and peaceful again.

Guess I should listen to my brother- "If you want something to be at peace, stop trying to fix it"

Not so easy to implement but it sure does make a lot of sense!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

What a girl wants

Just finished watching this movie ("What A Girl Wants") and I totally agree with it..

A mother's love comes naturally but what a girl also really wants (rather, 'needs') is complete love and acceptance from her father.. No questions asked, no judgements or comparisons made.. just love, trust and to be the most beautiful daughter in the world to him. For without it, there is always that void inside somewhere..a strange kind of emptiness.

For all the dads-to-be out there, make sure your daughter is *your* little princess! :)

Tuesday, June 5, 2012


so, the weekend was spent in doing lots of random things-

I finally got a haircut (my hair is 2.5 inches shorter now) on Sunday in a really nice spa salon. Doesn't matter how awesome the salon is if the hair stylist is a pervert.. kept trying to have his way with things on pretext of checking the length of my hair! The other stylists were good but I had to put up with this one.. The manicure lady was nice though and my nails have an electric teal colour on them- something i tried for the first time!

Also met someone from Twitter - someone who follows my blog *really* well (Sanjita- I must say- I was impressed!! :) ). Was pleasant meeting her..

saturday was more about personal work,  shopping for food supplies, cleaning the room.. and most of all, stocking my food rack with the supplies i bought- i kept looking at it like you'd keep looking at a new pair of shoes or clothes you just bought.

somehow, even though i miss my friends & home terribly and i'd love to go back, looking at this rack gives me a feeling that i can provide for myself..

these last 3 months have been about managing my finances, searching for a place to stay, shopping for things like bedsheets, detergent & small utensils, paying the rent, keeping the room clean (which i never paid attention to in my own house and still never do when i go home strangely :P), buying fruits, milk & other food supplies every week..exploring the city, going back home once in a while.. and still saving up for self indulgence! it's a nice feeling being able to manage almost everything without really being dependent on someone else for it (okay my mom pays my internet bill but that's soon going to change too :P)..

now the only thing i want is being totally independent emotionally as well..i depress myself for no reason at all and then get worried about it too.. my mind gets the better of my heart a lot of times and i need to keep telling it that i'm stronger..something that used to come naturally to me until a few years ago!

also need to learn to stand up to people when they say something to me- something i suck at.

i have this weird tendency of trying to be honest or standing up for what i feel is right and at the same time trying my best not to hurt the opposite person (by trying to be nice).. trust me, that never works. Not only do you fail at your task of not hurting them, you also end up hurting your own self.

being *truly* independent is a lot of work than i thought!

All that apart.. what do you think of my food rack?

good job, eh? :)

Saturday, June 2, 2012


I miss you.

I miss me more.

Friday, June 1, 2012


Angry at myself tonight for feeling the way I do sometimes..

Tomorrow, I'm going to be awesome again.