Saturday, December 20, 2008

Peace and a little Too Peaceful ...

There was yet another peace protest today.. this time however, the Mumbai University took the initiative. Colleges from all over Mumbai were asked to participate.. We had to follow a dress code- white and/or black..

I was looking forward to it, made a couple of banners and asked all my friends to join in too..
I had a debate with one of my friends over the phone last night when he said these rallies 
don't do any good, and that people just come for the sake of it, to wear stark white clothes,  shout, scream and have a good time.. No one's really bothered what's happening and where all this is going.. and that India can never improve.. I argued , and told him its because of people like him that India is the way it is..

But today I realised how wrong I was.. 

We all assembled in college at 2.30 pm, the march was to start at 3pm sharp, right from college to Shivaji Park, where we'd all sit down for the Governor's speech..It started on time, and we started walking holding up our banners,secretly hoping we'd get clicked! :D .. Most of us though just seemed to be chatting amongst themselves.. some imbeciles were chanting slogans like "Simon Go Back!",   I even over-heard someone asking if there was free food!

We finally got there at 4.30 , hoping we'd atleast get to hear what the Governor has to say.. 
They made us sit on the ground, where all other college students had been seated.. there was so much of chaos that nothing could be heard... nothing could be seen either, with more than half the students standing, and jumping around.. People started singing songs to while away time.. We couldn't stand it anymore and walked out at 5.30.. Getting out was also a pain.. 

Stopped at Irani for tea before coming home.. The place was all lit up by star-shaped lanterns, and the xmas decorations made it look all the more beautiful .. Xmas carols played inside.. we ordered tea, and then the owner put on a Pink Floyd concert on TV.. so we just sat there, watching tv, sipping on hot tea..  it was so much more peaceful than the "peace rally" .. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays !!!!

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Quarter Life Crisis

Hello ...
I know its been a very long time since I've posted somethin here..
I guess I was , and still am, goin thru wat-they-call "The Quarter Life crisis"

After my last post, I appeared for a few more exams.. then trieddd havin fun in Diwali .. and went for a 10-day long tour recently to Chandigarh, Manali and Amritsar.. felt a little refreshed after that.. I'll be writin posts on that trip too.. 

I don't know how many of y'all have gone through this ..
but lately, I've been feeling very scared and confused about everything.
I get a feeling I don't care for people anymore.. Though thats not what I want.
I want to help people out, do things for them like I used to before.. But something seems to block me.. And even if I go ahead and do it anyway, I don't feel good from within.. This never used to happen.. I don't even know if I like my friends, my family cuz I have to, or cuz I really do.. and it gets scary .. 
It actually feels like I'm stuck in some kind of a trap..
I don't want to turn into a bad person.. 

These thoughts have been eatin me up so bad since the last coupla months.. I had 3-4 panic attacks and depression thereafter.. I just don't know what to do..