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One of those days when I want to express.. and I can't do so! Not because I am not capable of expression, I am just afraid of expression. Feels awful.


Still breathing.

New blog, exams and much more..

Recently, I had talked of creating a new blog for all my handmade crafts and paintings. I'm happy to announce that it's up, and it has a new post already: First post on Artsy Me! Bookmark. :)


About this blog, a reader recently pointed out that I haven't been updating it very often. Well, I have been going in and out of phases for the longest time now. When you have been associated with something for too long, the sudden realization that you can't have it forever leaves you feeling too empty and insecure. I am sort of getting through the feeling. I know I shall pass. Over-attachment and expectations are vices indeed, but take a great deal of strength to control. Let's just say I am getting there.


God, I could really use some love right now and a lot of strength to push me through.


Exams are round the corner too, so my day mostly goes like: wake up, check email, breakfast, study, lunch, study, yoga, snacktime, study some more, dinner, surf online. It's a very boring routine and needless to say, I'm either half asleep buried under my books or my mind is busy creating its own webs as the books continue to stare at me. So, the actual "studying" takes place in between, and for a very less time.


I need to find something very interesting to do after my holidays- something that would grab my attention FULLY. I have planned a holiday till I find out what I want to do next, I'm just hoping nothing screws it up.


I would be updating as and when I feel like. Won't promise. I need your best wishes for my exams..

Take me there..

Something I had written a few days back. Posted it on Facebook, and people seemed to like it. Thought it'd be worth posting it here too. :)

God take me to the land where everything makes sense, where the grass is always green on THIS side of the fence..

Where there exists right or wrong and nothing in between, where all things are ruled by the heart and people say what they mean..

Where there is no such thing as fear and everyone is free, God rush me to that safe little place where I can breathe easily!

Happy Valentine's Day! :)

Love is... setting the heart free!

Happy Valentines Day you all !! :)

I am planning to start another blog for such paintings and other hand-made things, what say?

Growing Up

Some days are such that things make perfect sense and on some days, nothing does. Getting over stuff is like a breeze sometimes and emotions are secondary. Life opens up a whole box of opportunities just after it feels like it has nothing more to offer. I wonder if this is what growing up is like...


A song that pretty much sums it up:

Miracles? Every day is one!

Get your story published in The Chicken Soup for the Indian Soul – A book of Miracles at BlogAdda


Have you ever experienced Deja Vu? Been in a scenario where you've felt that this has happened before in this exact manner?


Have you ever woken up finding that your dream is exactly in sync with reality in a way that your subconscious already knew what was going to happen?


There was this time when I experienced waking up from a dream where I was falling with a loud thud, and that was the exact time my kitchen ceiling had fallen. It almost felt like something inside me knew that this was going to happen; it just came out differently. Another instance was when I felt someone was going to touch me in my dreams and I woke up when mom touched me to wake me up at the same time!


Many little incidents keep happening everyday that leave us feeling surreal.


For one, it is strange how we, human beings, are guided by our hearts. We are born with a set of basic instincts. Our existence is a miracle in itself! Something within us constantly tells us what is right and wrong. We call it our conscience. It's abstract, but it's continually guiding us and it stops us when we go wrong.


There are certain set of people we can connect with instantly, still some others we take time with, and some we tend to keep away from. There are people with whom you feel you've known them forever too.


Then there are also certain incidents that take place that you can make no head or tail of, but in time, you come to know of the reasons behind them. You get all your answers.


Miracles happen everyday, you just need to keep your minds and hearts open.


They say you can live as though nothing is a miracle and as though everything is one. The latter keeps you happier, makes you hopeful. :)

Narrow Escape

Get your story published in The Chicken Soup for the Indian Soul – A book of Miracles at BlogAdda


Ever since the day my childhood chum got her new bike (Hero Honda Pleasure), I wanted to ride it too! I would ask her to take me for rounds and we'd take it to five gardens (somewhere in Matunga) practically every alternate day just to practise. It had been a month since she got it and she had got a pretty good hold on it by then. She used to ride it to work too so she had more practice. I, however, always took time to get started with it each time. My short height might have something to do with it too. The idea is - if you're able to balance the bike while sitting on it such as both your legs touch the ground, then you're able to balance it while it is in motion too. I used to have a hard time with my legs reaching the ground and thereby, was forced to always sit on the edge of the seat.


On one such day, we decided to take it to five gardens again. She rode it on our way there. After a round of chaat and some chit-chatting, her ex (then boyfriend) gave her a call saying he was at Matunga station and wanted to catch up. We got to Matunga station with me sitting pillion, and there was no sign on him anywhere. She gave him a call and he was waiting for us at a restaurant a little ahead of the station. The restaurant was quite close and I told her I'll ride it till there while she goes walking. I insisted on wearing the helmet for the first time; it looked really cool and I felt more confident with it! I was not used to taking someone with me when I was riding so she walked ahead as I started with the bike.


I was at a really low speed and there was a speed breaker right ahead of me. I was riding so slow that I wouldn't even be able to climb up the speed breaker with that speed. I gave the bike a little acceleration to help it cross the speed breaker, and I lost control of the bike entirely as it went down the small slope i.e. the speed breaker. It took up so much speed that I panicked and forgot about the hand brakes!! There was a motorbike coming in from the right and I banged right into it, falling off my bike and hurting myself badly. The helmet saved my head though it was broken too. People crowded around me offering to help. I couldn't feel anything below the waist and for a minute, I really thought I lost my legs. After about ten minutes, I managed to get up and apologised to the man on the motorbike whose ankle I hurt. The crowd, biased that it usually is towards women, had not cared to see if he'd been hurt and that made it look like it was his fault. He asked me what I had been thinking and I told him it was entirely my fault. Thankfully, he hadn't been all that hurt and was sane enough not to pick up a fight. He just told me to be careful and smiled away.


Now, when I look back on that day, I can't help wondering how much the stars were in my favour. Had I not worn that helmet, my head would have been seriously injured. And to think I wore it to look cool!! Had there been a truck in place of the motorbike, I wouldn't have survived to talk of this. Had that motorbike been a little more faster, I might have survived but what good is life without a limb or two? It would have been very difficult. Ever since that day, I swore to be alert. I am indeed fortunate to have miraculously escaped.

'Wake up' Call.

Get your story published in The Chicken Soup for the Indian Soul – A book of Miracles at BlogAdda


A month before my final year university exams could start, I had not been keeping well and any of us in class was hardly prepared for them. We had tried everything, from sitting in college after class-hours with our books, to going to each others' places (so as to get motivated by each other- which worked but only to motivate each other to spend time on Facebook!), to ask our professors to take tests & preliminary examinations (which they did but we could never get ourselves to study for them!) and to work out a full day schedule for each other (which none of us ever stuck to). It was time to get serious and we all thought we might as well go solo. Surprisingly, it worked. On the first day, I actually sat up late and managed to finish a quarter of my portion. It was just part of a section of a subject but I was proud of myself.


It was 2 am by the time I got to bed and with the schedule that I had worked out for myself, I would only finish the whole section the next day if I manage to be up by 6 am. As with every urban student, I have '3 am friends' too- friends whom I can talk to at anytime of the night and who obviously expect me to speak to them too. I had to be selfish that night though, and put my cellphone on the "Silent" mode so as to avoid those phone calls and get myself some sleep. Now, the alarm doesn't ring on the "Silent" mode and I wanted to be up by 6am. My mother used to always tell me to keep in mind what time I have to get up, and that if we really want to get up, our eyes automatically open at that particular time. I have tried that, like a million times, and trust me, there have been times when I have slept so hard that my dad had to climb into our balcony from the neighbour's balcony because I wouldn't answer the doorbell. So you know how good I am at waking up on my own. I still thought of giving it a shot. As usual, after saying my night prayers, I asked God to wake me up the next morning - anyhow!


Just then, my cellphone vibrated too much near my pillow. It was a call from Saleem, one of my college friends then. I answered the call with a very grumpy "Hello". No one spoke. After a few seconds, I hung up and checked the time. It was 6am! It didn't seem like I had slept at all because I was wide awake. And I couldn't believe I woke up to a vibration! I never do. I was really surprised and got on with the day. 


I went to college at 11am that day and bumped into Saleem. I asked him how he was up so early and why he gave me a call. He denied giving me any call. He said he was fast asleep at the time I got the call from him. Only when I showed him my "Received Calls" list did he believe that I had indeed got that call from his number. He went on to tell me that it might have been a mistake since he keeps his cellphone right under his pillow, and some keys might have been pressed!


I couldn't believe it. The time of the call and the fact that it was by mistake was too huge a co-incidence.
I don't know if I can call it a "miracle". It was something too minor to be thought of as one, but it was definitely not just a co-incidence either!

The Sign

Get your story published in The Chicken Soup for the Indian Soul – A book of Miracles at BlogAdda


Sahil and I had been blog friends since a long time and four months back since that day, he had taken it to another level. We had got to know each other pretty well, and he had made it clear that he liked me, in a non-platonic way that is. I had never met him though, since we lived in different cities. I liked him too but I wanted to get to know him in flesh and blood first. He'd always say he was head over heels in love with me and I'd always wonder how someone could love so deeply in so less time! Not one to rush into such affairs so soon, I told him I take a lot of time getting to know someone and he seemed to be in absolutely no hurry. The first month was wonderful, with him sending me lovely songs to listen to, and giving me as much attention as no other! It's a wonderful feeling to be loved, and as I enjoyed it, I was slowly trying to build trust. 


I really don't know what went wrong but in the month after that, it seemed like all that love had gone on vacation. I say 'vacation' because it returned a couple of weeks later in full zest. I was told that he had been busy with a lot of other activities and that he was still very serious about what he had proposed. After something like this, who would believe that he really meant it? I told him that it'd take even longer to build my trust in him after this and that it was really difficult to buy his explanation though I was trying hard to. We weren't talking as much as we used to anymore and I used to wonder why.


In the month after that, I finally met him in person along with some other people he knew. After a round of introduction, we went out together and I knew I felt the same for him like I did in the 'virtual' world. I heard him say he loves me when we hugged each other 'goodbyes' after the meet. I felt a strange kind of happiness surge through me that lasted till the next morning but something still told me to wait. I still wouldn't express what I felt for him. He went back to his city, and I got busy building castles in the air thinking of how we'd look like together! My exams were just a month away and I forced myself to concentrate on my books and put those thoughts aside for sometime. Meanwhile, Karthik, one of the people he had introduced me to, and I had begun talking and we seemed to get along pretty well. 


I had known Sahil for a whole four months then, and he had been on my mind that whole week. My university exams had begun, and by that time, I had decided I'd give this thing a shot once all my papers were done. Oddly, though he met all that I would want in a partner, something stopped me from going ahead. I thought I was just fearing getting hurt after all that I had gone through with my first love. I quickly made a silent prayer saying that if at all he isn't the right one for me, I want a sign- any sign and it'd be so much better if I got it today itself! That said, I left for my paper in the afternoon.


As usual, there were students shuffling papers to revise whatever they could in the little time that was left for the bell to ring. I was one of them. My cellphone beeped in the middle of all that last-minute revision. It was a text message from an unknown number that said, "I might not tell you I love you but deep down, I still do!" I couldn't help thinking it was Sahil and decided to call him right after my paper that day. As soon as my exam for that day was over, I called on that number and no one would answer. I called him on his own number and he wouldn't answer there too. I thought he was probably busy. Half my mind was wondering why he didn't text me from his own number. I put all that away for a while and went online. Karthik was online too and we got chatting. I typed the number I had got the message from, and asked him to confirm whether it was from Sahil's city. He said it was from there indeed but he couldn't see why Sahil would send me such a text when he was already in a relationship with someone for three months! I couldn't help but confront Sahil immediately and he admitted to being interested in someone but not being sure if she was the right one. The little 'vacation' that his 'love' took was three months back too.


I didn't know what to do. Three months back also meant that he was thinking of her while he said he was in love with me! I didn't even know whether to blame him, not having expressed any of what I felt for him in those few months. Clearly, he had lied but blaming him wasn't going to change anything.


I was disheartened and was going over the series of events in bed that night. Just then, I remembered something. The sign! The message had saved me from making a mistake. I was so glad at having listened to my voice and having got an assurance that I had been right all along in not rushing into something that my heart didn't completely agree with. That sign was just what I wanted and I got it just when I had asked for it. It was a miracle indeed. After a long time I slept well that night, disappointed, but feeling a sudden sense of strength from within.

It's a miracle!

We come across so many miracles each day. I don't know whether they can even be called miracles but some experiences really make you feel like there is some thing powerful that is guiding you. 


BlogAdda has come up with yet another contest giving us bloggers a chance to share such experiences. And if any of our stories get selected, it'll be published in "The Chicken Soup for the Indian Soul - a book of miracles". Additionally, we'll also win a cash prize of Rs. 1000. Isn't that lovely? :)


Anyway, I needn't mention that I am participating too :D So watch out for some 'miraculous' posts by yours truly this coming week! :)


Also, I need your best wishes for the contest. So wish me luck!!


For more details on this contest or to participate, click here. :)